Sanity in Insanity

People find various ways to justify their acts of being in-human, inconsiderate sometimes illegal. There always seems to be a valid reason and explanation for their behavior. I have heard so many stories about people jeopardizing their relationships based on past bad experiences. I have heard stories about bad childhood, bad parenting being cause of crime streaks in young adults. Men justifying rapes as an act of 'revenge' and/or 'witch hunting'; the list is long. Recently, I visited a slum area, notorious for theft in the adjoining plush locality. The people living there were of the opinion that the "rich society" had enjoyed a free run for far too long and as part of their plan for social justice, their kids took up thieving to reduce the disparity seen in the society. "Robin Hood" syndrome was in vogue in this slum and they somehow did not see the "illegality" of their actions. This is just an example I am taking in context, I believe in social justice too. However, I cannot justify crime as a solution. I can still remember the words of Gujarat CM, Narendra Modi justifying the Gujarat riots as a "mere repercussion" to the Godhra train carnage. I could not understand till today, how can this be justified. How the killing of 2000 Muslims could be justified as a repercussion or a spontaneous act of revenge. Politicians across the board have been justifying humanitarian crimes as a valid tool to gain political advantage and split the people on communal lines. However, when left in political vacuum, people exhibit amazing human traits that restore my faith in humanity. In times of major calamities, human beings (not politicians) actually stand together for human spirit and not use it as an excuse to inflict further pain upon others.

14:20 hrs (local time) on 11-03-2011, a Tsunami hit the coast of Japan after an earthquake measuring 8.9 hit the pacific coast of North Eastern Japan, the world saw the crude face of nature's fury. Sendai, a small town of NE-Japan, lost almost its entire population to the tsunami. I remember watching BBC footage of the entire town being swept under waves after waves destroying everything in sight and purging the town of its people, buildings etc. The aftermath of this was not any better. For the week that followed, there were many after shocks felt in Japan and each one created a fear of another tsunami. The Fukushima-Daiichi nuclear plant was shut down causing fear of a major nuclear meltdown that would affect millions of lives in Japan and elsewhere. People were homeless, without food or any necessary items, without power in the darkness and a nuclear threat looming large. Yet, in their collective grief, they elevated humanity.
1.THE CALM
Not a single visual of chest-beating or wild grief. Sorrow itself has been elevated.
2.THE DIGNITY
Disciplined queues for water and groceries. Not a rough word or a crude gesture.
3.THE ABILITY
The incredible architects, for instance. Buildings swayed but didn't fall.
4.THE GRACE
People bought only what they needed for the present, so everybody could get something.
5.THE ORDER
No looting in shops. No honking and no overtaking on the roads. Just understanding.
6.THE SACRIFICE
Fifty workers stayed back to pump water in the N-reactors. How can they ever be repaid?
7.THE TENDERNESS
Restaurants cut prices. An unguarded ATM is left alone. The strong cared for the weak.
8.THE TRAINING
The old and the children, everyone knew exactly what to do. And they did just that.
9.THE MEDIA
They showed magnificent restraint in the bulletins. No sensationalizing. Only calm reportage.
10.THE CONSCIENCE
When the power went off in a store, people put things back on the shelves and left quietly.

Human tragedy or loss of human life is always a moment of grief, we all bow our heads to honor the departed souls, but, its the people who were left behind in the carnage; whose lives are changed forever; some handicapped for life, who actually show the way. Some choose to make an issue out their experience and milk the situation to extract benefits; some others are so deeply grieved that they find it impossible to live on; some use the grief to seek revenge of the perpetrators and a only a handful, peacefully accept that the event was destined to happen in their life and celebrate the victory of life over death and destruction. We all stood with our Japanese brothers and sisters in their hour of grief, but the fact that they stood by each other is what acted as a soothing balm to the deep pain inflicted by nature's fury. The politicians did not make an issue of the Government handling of the emergency and each one pitched in to help the cause of their brethren. Even the media held restraint and did not dramatize the entire episode to garner TRPs. They were merely reporting the events and not looking for stories. (Some tips for TRP crazy Indian media)

We need to learn to grieve in a dignified manner from Japanese people. The world is bound to face many a calamities, some natural, some with human intervention. What is important that we never let go of humanity and at all times stand up for the victory of human spirit. People salute the "spirit of Mumbai", I feel even Mumbai can learn a lot from the Japan, for its very difficult to maintain sanity in the times of insanity.

PS: Special mention to Dr. Amruta Nayak Pai, whose e-mail inputs taken into account while writing this post.

So long...

Insaaf ka Talwar.. or was it tarazu

The law is blindfolded and does not consider any aspect of the person before it except, what is placed in the balance that she carries. Once all facts are placed, you see which way the balance is tilted and decide upon the case. Now, it doesn't not matter to the law, that you are the "father" of the victim and according to you, it is impossible to think of killing your dear daughter - the apple of your eye. What matters is, when all the facts are before the law for consideration, Dr. Rajesh Talwar and Dr. Nalini Talwar seemed as much culpable for the double murder of Arushi Talwar and Hemraj (may rest in peace) as any other accused in the case.



I was filled with disgust when Dr. Rajesh Talwar was first accused of killing his own daugher and her "lover" Hemraj because he caught them "in the act". The media reports had gruesome details and I was wondering why don't the media weigh their words and stop maligning a beautiful relationship of a father and daughter. I felt sympathy for him as a "soft target" in this case and was all for a speedy investigation so that Dr. Talwar is acquitted and he can go back to his home and reconcile with the fact that his only daughter is no more. My heart went out for the Talwars and felt that it was an unfair media trial. No father deserved this. I was utterly shocked when the CBI filed its closure report on 29-12-2010. The facts and questions raised by CBI had no answers. No explanation could be given by anyone about certain stunning facts and it became more and more certain that the CBI was right in first place and the father might have actually planned and killed his daughter and servant in cold-blood.



Here are some facts about the case:
1. Aarushi Talwar and Hemraj died within hours of each other and the terrace door, that was always open, was locked for one whole day and guess what, Hemraj's body was found on the terrace.
2. Aarushi's bedroom has a lock, just like the main door and the keys were with her or her mother Dr. Nupur Talwar. The door was locked from inside and there were no marks of a forced entry anywhere.
3. Aarushi's body bore no marks of fight. Naturally any person does put up a fight for his/her life. Her body was nicely placed on her bed covered in sheets and no item in her bedroom missing or moved.
4. The cut on her neck was of a scalpel like object (usually used by surgeons for incision) and was done expertly. There was a mark of golf club at back of her head (so also in the case of Hemraj).
5. There were no finger prints of her parents anywhere in the room. Consider, on the night she died, her parents claim they were with her in her room. There ought to be few prints here and there. Someone had carefully dressed the scene of crime.
6. The Golf clubs were found at a later stage and found recently cleaned. The only object that was present was a flask of Whiskey, blood stained and bore finger imprints of Hemraj and another set. It seemed planted there.
7. Her parents sleeping in the next room did not hear any sound all night and the Internet modem was supposedly used to browse Internet till 3:00 am. So they were awake and not in slumber. Strangely they din hear any noise.
8.The moment the maid came in the next day, Dr. Nupur Talwar enters her daughter's room and cries saying "look, what Hemraj has done". Normally seeing your daughter in a pool of blood, takes you into shock that you are numbed for a while. With mind in such a state, nobody thinks of blaming the servant. It was a ploy to deflect the blame and confuse the investigation.
9. No one was allowed to use the terrace for a day and it was next day that Hemraj was found dead on the terrace. Turns out, he was killed within hours (if not minutes) of Aarushi's death.
10. Aarushi's private parts were cleaned and this was verified by doctors who performed autopsy. (What was reason for this)
11. Dr. Talwar's brother used political influence to get the doctors, not mention that Aarushi was sexually active in the autopsy report. (Sorry Aarushi, no offense meant). Some angle of investigation was tried to be misled deliberately.



There are some horrible cover up stories made by the family to explain these facts and none of them sound convincing to even laymen. Let alone the CBI experts. If we place all the facts, Dr. Talwar(s) and his family should be tried for the murder of his daughter and servant and for blocking investigation and obstructing justice. I do agree that the murder was so well planned and the crime scene was dressed up so that there will remain some missing links which would not allow the case to be airtight. Maybe Dr. Talwar will be acquitted for want of evidence. Does that mean he is innocent??? Thats a different question altogether.



So long....

Not sound politics

This is the season of open letters and I thought I would write one to the BJP leadership. At the outset, let me point out that I do not have any empathy/sympathy for the outfit. In most cases I do not agree with their ideology and the radicalism that they preach from time to time makes me sick. Then you might wonder, why am I here writing to them. The main reason being, I don't want Congress to be an unchecked power and from time to time they need to be reminded that if they flounder, they will be voted out of power. From May 2004, the BJP has been doing everything possible to make themselves unelectable. Even though they rule 9 Indian states, somehow when it comes to New Delhi, BJP runs out of steam and sadly for them , you need to capture Delhi to rule.



Main aspect of winning an election is not your coalition strength or the amount of money you are willing to spend but your electability quotient. World over, when serious questions are raised on electability of a candidate, more often than not, he ends up on the losing side. Today, BJP is doing this disservice to themselves and proving to the electorate that they are unelectable. The problem with BJP is they are ill advised and badly managed. They somehow hope that sooner or later they will return to power and until then, they have to be in the news for various reasons. This is a ploy with diminishing returns and the problem with the BJP is they start too early and by the time the next elections are due, they run out of stream and novelty and the incumbent returns to power with bigger majority. This happened in 2009 and unless something major changes, this will happen again in 2014. The writing is on the wall. Every issue has to raised at appropriate levels and this is not understood by the BJP spin doctors. As I said, they are ill advised if not badly managed. From 2006 every small issue is being raised by the BJP to make pointed reference to the PM as a weak person and L.K. Advani as a strong man. They did it again when India was hit by terrorist attacks; they did it for Naxal threat; they did it for Nuclear deal and even for the black money trail. They used this "weak PM" card for so long that people rejected it and voted Dr. Singh back to power with bigger majority. If you go back 5 years to 2004, BJP did this with Sonia Gandhi and "India Shining". They went on for so long flogging her that people of India gave her a chance seeing her as an underdog who is being battered by Government machinery. The problem is perception and BJP fails terribly at creating the right one for themselves.



Corruption is a burning issue presently and after CWG fiasco and the 2G spectrum kickbacks mess, opposition parties are now, more than ever, smelling victory. Advani and Arun Jaitley have already started advance celebrations of coming back to power at the Centre in 2014 (Advani dreams of a return even earlier). The only problem is, they have again let a chance go by. Instead on putting the Government on the mat and keeping them there, they allowed the Government a breather by boycotting parliament. Then they went on questioning the honesty and integrity of Dr. Manmohan Singh as the PM, when every Indian knows personally, he is most honest and incorruptible politician and by questioning that, you are mocking at people's intelligence. They could have caught him for lack of governance, but instead went for lack of integrity. Wrong choice once again and only time will tell if this will rebound on them, considering that, a week is a long time in politics and the PM has 3+ years before his Government faces the voters, as it seeks a re-election. So far as I can guess, the PM will have a political ace up his sleeve by then to mould public opinion in his favour. After all, his heart is in the right place. So far, its R.I.P BJP. May your leaders and spin doctors learn political acumen from Sonia Gandhi.



So long...

"No comments, Your Honor, the matter is prejudiced"

Yet another spectrum scam being reported called "S-Band" scam. Indian Space Research Organization, yes the same organization that helped India send Chandrayaan-I to the moon is in the dock for "illegally leasing" the precious S-band spectrum to a private firm Devas for 20 years. The losses reported by the experts in the media (not accountants) and Nirmala Seetharaman (spokesperson, BJP) is a staggering Rs. 200,000 crores or $50 billion. In a couple of days the entire world would know about "yet another scam" in India this time in space research field and they would wonder, "Wow India is a rich country, their scams are more than their budget expenditures". BJP is gunning for the Prime Minister's scalp as Dept. of Space research comes under the PMO. Turns out, there is not much factual truth in this news item and maybe there was no scam in the first place. CAG, PMO, ISRO and M/s. Devas technology have all denied the presence of any such deal.



The constitution of India, provides even an Ajmal Kasab (convict, Mumbai 2008 attack, who shot people on camera) to plead "not-guilty" in the court. I intend to say, that people have a right to remain innocent until they are proven guilty in the court of law. Its an unalienable right that every individual enjoys and we are committing a travesty of justice if we prejudge matters even before they reach the courts. But we do it; every single day; sitting in comforts of our drawing rooms and watching the news channel. I am all for probity of public life and if people have committed crime (omission or commission) they should be dealt with the iron hand of law. All I ask for, is a little patience. Just don't pass blanket judgement on individuals because its a matter of great shame for a country if its Prime Minister has to furnish a "clean chit" for every other scam happening in the country. Lets keep the PM out of corruption politics until his complicity is proven beyond doubt in the court of law. We do not want our Prime Ministers always under shadow of suspicion and no matter how cynical we are about our political scheme of things, "let the PM, like Cesar's wife, be always above suspicion". Long gone are the days when people used to respect Union Ministers for the high morality and probity that they maintained in public life, today, people don't think twice before naming the Prime Minister as an accused. To an extent the current breed of politicians and the cynical behaviour of public at large is the main reason that we are facing this situation, but let us not discount the presence of a sound-bytes hungry media that loves soap-operas and a billion minds ready to lap it up. In fact we are so in tune with the drama of soap-operas that if our politicians are not involved in something sinister, we find it boring and vanilla. We look for a channel that is unearthing a latest sleazy racket of how political clout is used to subvert laws and we continue to act surprised about it like we are suffering from Alzheimer's disease.



Its a sad state of affairs. People are more angry if a Government is acquitted of wrongdoing than if it is convicted. We somehow want to nail our politicians and if they are proven innocent (in the court of law) we simply do not accept it because we have prejudged the matter and the person is pronounced guilty by us long ago. This kind of lynch mob mentality is not healthy because tomorrow (God forbid) if one of us is caught in a fabricated lawsuit, we would be wanting our rights of not being prejudged in the matter. "Do not, unto others, what you don't want for yourself", let us be equal in the eyes of law. More than being fair to the politicians (who do not need it), I want to see an end to the cynicism that we are feeding ourselves day in and day out. The kind of comments passed are like, "there is no hope" and "we are doomed", are factually incorrect and the media should be part of the change and not the problem. Gandhi used to say "be the change you want to see in the society" and yet somehow, we all want the society to change despite us not contributing in anyway to improve the situation. President A.P.J. Abdul Kalam once wrote to The Times of India to keep the front page dedicated to news which invoked positive response rather than sensationalism of crime and corruption. The point he wanted to make was, lets give out the positives as much as we harp on the negatives. Sadly, the media, in its new avatar of "social activism" has forgotten this golden rule.



Let us all be patient and allow the law to take its own course. If you feel justice is not delivered, petition the courts and ask for justice. If you are still not satisfied with verdicts, demonstrate against the Government and come the next election, vote it out, but for heaven's sake don't accept that "we are doomed" give up or take up lynch mob tactics and take up arms against the government. Our system provides us with many ways to show our displeasure. We have never even tried one and are already giving up. Like in the movie, The Shaw shank Redemption, "hope is a good thing.. perhaps the best of things.." and "I hope", one day the people will stand up for their rights and the politicians will be forced to be more accountable. "I hope", people will ensure that fair treatment is being provided to everyone and avoid lynch mob tactics for speedy justice. "I hope", that one day the court of law will be the only place where a person will face trial.



So long....

Happy-ness

"Every human being is born equal with unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..." Most repeated line in the sovereign constitutions of nation-states worldwide. While we understand why life and liberty would be an unalienable right, happiness is a tricky thing. Basically, because of its subjective nature and what it means to different people. In India, basic necessity like food, clothing and shelter would mean happiness to a majority, at the same time, there will be others who would want a lot more and would be lesser and lesser content (happy). I was a lot more content when I first began working. I earned enough to enjoy my weekends with friends; good food, movies et al. plus a little saving. As my earnings grew I realised my feeling of content reduced and my cravings for possessions grew exponentially. So, one thing is sure, "money can't buy happiness"; because, as my bank balance increases, my feeling of content reduces by a few percentage points.



I was of the firm opinion that affection could be bought. Over a period of time, the more pricey gift I bought for my girlfriend(s), the more affectionate they would be. The more lavish party I threw, the more my friends would love me. Even my younger cousin(s) loved me because I took them for secret treats. In short, I figured that as long I have the money to buy affection, Ill be happy. The only problem was, I wasn't actually happy. I would see smiles around me and think I am the cause of that smile and be happy. Gradually, the girlfriend(s) were more interested in the lavish gifts than in me. I found my friends' love for me evaporate when there were long intervals in between the parties, even my cousins were longing for the treats than meeting me. I got what I was asking for, my buying power determined the affection I received. I often wondered, I did so many things for the people in my life and yet, there is no one by my side. I was always there for others, yet there is no one for me. What I did not realise was, people don't need your money, they need your time. Your time is the most precious gift you could give anyone and you should be wise in using it because you have limited time. So give your loved ones the most precious gift of all; your invaluable time and then you would realise that the love you receive is exponential of what you give.



The other day, I was standing outside a pub where I had spent quite a lot buying rounds for my mates. I was feeling empty and lost that I was this needy guy who always wanted attention. As I looked around, I saw a small girl walk up to this guy aged around 14-15 years and told him "Bhaiyya, I want to eat paani puri". And that boy immediately took his little sister to a nearby 'thela'. He started to feel inside his pocket and came up with Rs. 10 /- in loose change (enough to buy 1 plate of paani puri). I could see the confusion in his eyes. If he bought paani puri, he did not have any money left for his own dinner or snack or even a bread. After a momentary pause and a look at his sister, he went ahead and bought her paani puri with all he had. As the little girl sat on a small stone-platform and ate paani puri (not realising her brother would have to remain hungry that night), there was a glow of satisfaction and happy-ness on his face. At that moment I almost envied him. I felt an urge to offer him to buy another dish for himself, but I fought my urge. The guy had a chance to show magnanimity and maybe after a long time was able to get something for his sister. I did not want to be the person who spoils this moment of pride for him, which by the looks of it, were hard to come by. I realised two things that day. Firstly, it takes a special person to give up all you have for a person you love and find happy-ness in theirs. Secondly, I was such a small person that I wanted love and affection for merely buying few gifts and treats and was hard pressed to understand why they were not coming by. In reality, love (like respect) cannot be demanded, it has to be commanded by the person by his / her actions; willingness to put others before themselves and more importantly spare some time for the important people in life.



So long...

You have to be absolutely honest... what about me?? hmmmm I am excused

"Holier than thou", seems to be the political theme currently and all are taking a role to preach "others". The pots are calling the kettles black and with such a straight face that it almost insults our intelligence. People are lapping up all the nonsense and taking sides, not knowing that none of the actors involved are on their side. Its a power grab of the highest order and the general public is nothing but a prop in this sham. If you need to take sides, take your own stance and do not let these individuals play "cheap" politics using you as a medium. We are all so much intelligent and smart when it comes to our field of work but are surprisingly naive when it comes to politics. I mean, come on. All of us know power grabbing politics, we all do it at our workplace to get ahead. Its a pattern of events and one simply can't cry ignorance. The only difference, our day to day politics at workplace does not harm as many people as this "sham" being played out in our power corridors.



Let me begin by saying that I am a Congress supporter so that there are no misgivings about where my loyalties lie. This is not about having a political viewpoint. This is about blindly following a party line without using your God-given brain. Using technicalities to defend the indefensible and using grey areas to tarnish images. Let me first begin with the party I support. I thought I voted for Congress so that I get good governance, what is happening currently is, the entire Government machinery is being used to fight corruption charges. The bureaucracy is not acting on the files with agility as they do not know if any decision signed by them could be fodder for another scam. In short, there is a total governance deficit. If you do not have the "balls" to take bold steps, then resign and allow others to rule the country. We Indians saw the "reformist" in Dr. Manmohan Singh and voted for Congress. If you can't deliver, move on. Perform or perish. We do not want to know your "problems" we have our own to worry about. Stop wasting our time by saying at least we acted on corruption, BJP does not act on it. I would say, we always knew that, that's why you are in the seat of power. Don't tell us obvious things and govern the country as it should be, cos if you don't, we have alternatives.



The opposition is even worse hypocrite. Dr. J. Jayalalitha (convicted in corruption case) is giving out sermons to A. Raja. Communist party (the CPM/CPI whatever) are not talking about brutal killings in West Bengal and lecturing on how Centre has to govern. Nitish Kumar (CM, Bihar) has the right to demand for JPC because he has followed a life of utmost probity as the CM but Sharad Yadav (who is ignorant of most things happening around him) should not be allowed to take a political high ground. That leaves us with the BJP. I thought Bangaru Laxman (ex BJP President) was caught taking bribe on camera and the then PM (A. B. Vajpayee) told the Parliament of India "the video reception isn't clear and it cannot be certain that the person involved is the party president". The then defense minister (George Fernandez) and Jaya Jaitley were shown by Tehelka.com making money on coffins made for soldiers slain at Kargil :'( ( may rest in peace). Narendra Modi (CM, Gujrat) allowed through omission the ethnic cleansing of minorities in Gujarat. He has since been indicted by none less than the Supreme Court as Nero of Gujarat. So many unlawful fake encounters in "Vibrant" Gujarat, co incidentally all muslim individuals and no politician arrested. B.S.Yeddyurappa (CM, Karnataka) is caught in so many corruption cases that his position is unteneable. Yet he continues to rule blaming the cases to "black magic". (Imagine all accused using acting under influence of "Black magic" as explanation for their crime in the court of law :P) Maybe Karnataka CM is a Harry Potter Fan. Now, with so many events and no action at all on any of these cases, BJP should be the last to talk on morality and public probity. I am not saying recovery of losses, none of them even resigned from their coveted posts and are currently overseeing enquiries about their own conduct. Public life probity eh. Not less than 300 crores were spent in Karnataka to get this government to power (Reddy Brothers) and the individuals are the apples' of Sushma Swaraj's eye (eventhough, every now and then they shake up their own CM). Arun Jaitley (eminent lawyer) purposely acts innocent on criminal procedures of the court of law. The kind of arguments he puts forward, I doubt he will get another case to fight in the courts if he is so ignorant about the law of the land (or acts ignorant on purpose).



Now these are the politicians who are saying the CVC should be of impeccable integrity. The bureaucracy must act in a honest and upright way. I would want to ask. How do these politicians know what it is to be of impeccable integrity. They have not tried living that life even for one day and expect all people around them to live their entire lives in that manner. If the present CVC made on error of judgement 20 years ago (allegedly) and that is why he is not qualified to be the CVC, then on that extrapolation, none of the present political lot are qualified to govern the country (which is a more serious job). My message here is to the "anti corruption activists", do not take us for granted for too long. Look at Egypt, Tunisia, Yemen... next could be India. Don't force the people to take up the arms against the very people who govern them. Stop this pathetic mudslinging match and get back to work. We know all of you are equally capable of looting us so don't furnish your resumes to us. You are bringing the country to disrepute and we have a brand name in the world, despite our political class. Let the PM work and don't hamstring his moves with your pathetic antics in media. If you have the balls, vote him out of power in the Parliament and then run your own show. Until then, wait for your turn.



PS: If only more people wrote about things like this and started a revolution like many countries are. Its time we make the politicians accountable to the people they represent.

So long.....

Do I know women !!!!

A couple of days ago my room mate walks up to me and says " they are all crazy.. each and every one of em" and went on huffing and puffing about it something. After a long time I dared to ask him the obvious question and he goes "I will never know women.. its impossible to know what they think and how they operate". All I could do was smile in a frail manner. I knew where this discussion would take us and I was simply no in the mood to discuss women. I hated the subject. I don't feel it is possible to have any two men sit and discuss on how women operate and come at any conclusion in the end. It turns out, the whole thing ends up as a futile exercise and we are more confused in the end than we were at the beginning of the discussion. So its better to just smile n move on.



Turns out, my room mate was not in the mood to do me any favours. He was simply determined to get an answer out of me and to him, I appeared to be some sort of an expert on the subject matter. I asked him, all the while dreading the response "What seems to be the matter? Anything wrong". I did not know I was playing with match near a truckload of fuel. It simply ignited and he went on and on about how difficult it is to understand women and how various women in his life had driven him crazy and insane to a point that he had generalised an opinion of "All women are crazy". Though I empathised with him, I did not have an answer to his question. I simply could not find a logical conclusion as to why those women behaved the way they did. Were they possessed, were they under influence or were they simply acting crazy, hard to say. Judging by logic purely, they should have behaved in the exact opposite way to what they did and yet, somehow, in state of full awareness they did not. It reminded me of a article I read a couple of days ago about "smart women and not so smart choices". The author goes on and on about various women, who, according to him, were very smart but made very poor personal choices. I would have liked to produce the list here, but that would be simply redundant. I tried talking to my room mate about this article and how the author shared same views as him about women.



In the end, we reached a conclusion (after deliberating for few hours :'( on a topic that was fast losing interest ) that its impossible for a man to get a woman's wavelength. I would go further and say, don't try and read a woman's lips. Try getting to the emotions behind the words. Try and understand what she might be going through mentally and physically. That would solve your puzzle and if all of this is gibberish to you, simply don't try to understand women. There are 90% of men who do not understand women, even a bit, and are doing perfectly fine. Do not take up this unnecessary expedition of trying to understanding a woman and lose your mind. Frankly (no disrespect meant) women think with their heart and it knows no logic. That's the natural order of things and its in best interest of everyone involved to not try and decipher the process. Accept it as a fact, like you accept that sun rises in the east and move on. There are more real problems to fathom and solve than to try and understand the thought process of a woman.



So long....

It happens only in India

I am mightily pissed off; hypocrisy to no ends. When it comes to politics, we Indians are so naive that sometimes that I want to shake every passer-by so that he wakes up to a real world. The days of Mahatma Gandhi are long gone and the days of Dr. Manmohan Singh are here to stay. Some of us are caught in between and do not know whether to be idealistic or practical. It’s high time we know how our country functions and don’t expect too much or too little out of our system. In the recent past some real and some no so real scams were unearthed and I observed with great amazement how easy it was to form public opinions in India. All you need is to pick a story and splash in across few news channels and we just lap it up without thinking about the merits of the case, the people involved and the reputations that they carry. We have been more gullible than sheep that are herded as a lot. I have one thing to say, if we are gullible as a lot, don’t blame the politicians who pigeon hole us into vote banks. Also, don’t embarrass yourselves by speaking ignorantly and keep your opinions to yourself. I have read few responses (by educated professionals) on recent political events and I was disgusted by them. I have known one thing, when it comes to placing a point of view, we simply don’t have enough knowledge and use what ever limited knowledge we have to argue all cases.

Here are some responses and you take a call on how does it even remotely link to the subject under discussion.
Case 1:
2G scam : Raja digs in his heels; says wont resign
Comments:
1. Sonia Gandhi is keeping Raja on as telecom minister so that she keeps making money on spectrum allocation
2. Raja is minister because the real Rani (Sonia) is firmly behind him.
3. Gandhi’s have looted India for decades. This is one other instance of Sonia staking PMs reputation to loot the country.

Case 2:
Adarsh housing: Jairam Ramesh orders demolition
Comments:
1. Jairam is Sonia’s dog. He is faithfully listening to his master
2. Sonia made all the money out of Adarsh. Now she is okay with it being demolished
3. Maybe Sonia owns many flats in Adarsh.

Case 3:
SC: What has the Government done on ‘black money’ case.
Comments:
1. PM is protecting the Gandhi family because they have many Swiss accounts.
2. All the money collected from Bofors is put in Swiss accounts. Congress is shielding Sonia Gandhi.
3. Gandhi parivaar has looted India for decades and now they have to pay for it. Let her accounts be revealed.

Case 4:
Governor sanctions Yeddyyurappa’s prosecution.
Comments:
1. Governor is acting on the behest of the congress president
2. Governor is Sonia’s dog. We know where his loyalties lie.
3. Governor has turned Raj Bhavan into anti – government centre. Shame on Sonia.

Case 5:
SC: Did the government have knowledge about pending case on the CVC?
Comments:
1. Thomas is CVC to protect Sonia in telecom scam
2. Thomas has Sonia Gandhi’s backing so the Government can’t sack him.
3. Sonia-Thomas duo shames India. Gandhi family has never done anything good for India.


Case 6:
BJP: Our fundamental right to unfurl the national flag was blocked by J&K government.
Comments:
1. Let Sonia unfurl Pakistani flag in Kashmir.
2. Nothing good can come when Sonia is ruling us. She knows only Italian flag not Indian flag.
3. Let the Gandhi’s be faithful to Italy and Pakistan. Indians will be faithful to our tri-colour.

I rest my case. The list is long but I am already laughing my guts out.

If we analyse most of the comments are not even logical. It is simply not possible that any single person is capable of so much impact on the country. It seems to some, that the Sun rises and sets at the behest of the Congress president, Sonia Gandhi. It shows that most of us are not aware of things around us, how the Government functions or even who are the conspirators and actors in any given “scam”. We are simply using personal anger against an entity and shooting our mouths off, in most cases on unrelated issues. If this is the awareness levels of the most vibrant democracy in the world, God help us when we elect our representatives. Also I have a personal message to all the people who vote. If you repeat the same mistakes and somehow expect the end result to be different then its called "living in a fools paradise". So stop electing unfit candidates to our legislatures and Parliament and then expect them to stand for your cause. Else, all you are saying is "I will elect corrupt and inefficient people but somehow he/she must act honestly once elected and work for my cause with single minded devotion". Sadly, things dont work that way. First change your apathy towards your duty to elect an good representative and then things will automatically fall in place.

So long……

"May the insanity and the romance never die"

Relationships come with its fair share of advantages and problems. For one, they teach you to accommodate another person in your life and think beyond your needs. Even though, each person gets into a relationship out of one's basic need to have a mate, once in a relationship, more often than not, they tend to put the other's need before their own. This is how its always been. Even the most self centered people are known to have been accommodative in a relationship. Maybe its nature's way of teaching us to put other's needs before your own. There are many more benefits of a relationship and the stronger the relationship gets, the more you tend to see them. Having someone cover your back; having someone to collect the slack; having a shoulder to cry on or say having a friend, philosopher and guide are a few benefits to mention. Study suggests that people in a relationship are most truthful about themselves to their partners than anyone else in their life. So, its more or less a well established fact that relationships come with many a benefits.




Its not all a rosy picture as it seems and there are many a dynamics that play a part in a relationship. There are pulls and strains and the trick lies in overcoming these for the larger cause. I do not wish to sound as an expert in this field and there are loads of things about relationships that I am yet to learn, but I have seen some blatant mistakes made by people all around me and it makes me wonder why people do not value what they have and its only evident to a person who does not have it. I would list a few obvious mistakes that people commit in a relationship and leave it up to the audience to judge the facts.

1. Bare it all: Women make this mistake a lot more than men. Being honest about your past (if asked about ) is one thing. Women go the extra mile in trying to be honest. They tend to give out too many details of their past life and men often wonder, is she trying to tell me I am not as good as her ex or that she is not over her ex or I am just a replacement of her ex. So ladies, spare the trouble and keep the discussion about your past life to the bare minimum. The guys are not interested what you did in your past and with whom you did it. So its in the best interest of everyone involved that the bygones be bygones and let it not harm your new relationship. If you still feel the need to discuss your past life, use your gal pals.

2. Rush: Rushing too quickly into a physical relationship is yet another major mistake that people commit in a relationship. Physical urge is understandable and well appreciated but rushing into it too quickly kills the full potential of a relationship. Relationship is built on a fact of mutual admiration and respect and if the physical gratification takes a centre stage (as it usually does) the other aspects are left behind and once the lust dies down, there is nothing left for a relationship to stand on. This happens in many arranged marriages as well as in relationships built on pure lust. Take the effort to build a strong base for the relationship to stand on. You have an entire life to show your physical love for each other.

3. Respect women: I do not know how serious this damage is but its pretty evident that around 60% of men do not respect women at all. To them, she is nothing more than a vending machine that fulfils their needs of food, laundry and sex. This attitude is not appreciated and causes a major problem in a relationship. 90% of women indulging in extra-marital affairs are into it because of lack of respect in their relationship. During courtship, men tend to love all aspects of a woman and are desperately trying to gain her approval. Once they "get her", she becomes more of a hindrance to them. This attitude smothers the relationship and kills the spirit of the women and is quite unhealthy for the men as well.

4. Give space: Your partner had a life before they met you and in most cases would like to live as they always lived. Every relationship must have a breathing space. Getting this one right is tricky as there is no fixed rule. Some couples need huge breathing space and some don't need it at all, but, all couples need their significant other to respect the fact that there exists a world outside their relationship and that their partners have a right to social life. Getting too clingy will make you unwanted and giving too much space will make you uncaring. So find what is the right amount for your relationship and give each other that required space.

5. Taken for granted: This is the most common mistake and every one does this at one point of time in their relationship, however, no one accepts that its crept in their relationship. Everyone sees this as part of others' relationship but does not see it slowly attacking their own. Its natural for anyone to get lost into the comforts of a relationship and accept it subconsciously that it is going to last indefinitely. Much like the people in your life, relationships are often valued once they are lost. Take time every week to make your partner / loved one feel special. Make them realise that they have had a positive impact on your life and how much you value their presence and most importantly, tell them you love them. "I love you" should not be words used to get someone into bed, but should be words used to appreciate the presence of that person in your life. Guys, its not fruity to be a little romantic once in a while and you will not lose your machismo, in fact you will win her undying love. Girls, if your man finds it difficult to express in words, cut him some slack and understand the message in his actions.



Lastly, relationships are not constant, they ebb and tide much like the sea. We need to be constantly working on our relationships so that we are always as happy as we were the first day we found each other. Add the element of insanity into romance and never let the romance die. All the best.



So long....

Tailspin

Financial impropriety seems to be the flavour of the season and the incumbent are suddenly finding themselves in all kinds of mess.. avoidable mess if you ask me. Media are breathing down the neck of the Government and the opposition is watching with glee, the Government fire-fight with various institutions and give lengthy explanations as to how and when the system failed, which led to individual(s) make unseemly large profit at the cost of the public exchequer. The Government, has partly (in some cases wholly) shouldered the blame and is willing to take corrective measures. The most recent Group Of Ministers (GOM) meeting was on the burning subject of corruption and if we do have a normal Parliament Budget session, maybe most of the bills passed will be regarding how to fight corruption more effectively. I humbly submit that the Government has understood the law of diminishing returns if a cover up is attempted on the issue of corruption. My sympathies are with the Dr. Manmohan Singh Government, not because I admire him as a person and an able PM, but because I believe everyone must be given a chance to come clean. So respected PM, I as an individual, I give you one chance to redeem the faith in your Government. Please do not fail me.



It has become a norm that anyone who talks on behalf of the present Government to be a Congress supporter and the one who opposes is a BJP (right wing) supporter. I am an exception. I do not support BJP ideology but I loved Mr. A.B. Vajpayee as the PM. Basically, I love good administrators and I believe they should be given necessary benefit of doubt, as governance is a tricky subject and politics a murky game. So my love and devotion for Dr. Manmohan Singh is more out of his ability to govern the country effectively rather than him being a Rajya Sabha MP for Indian National Congress. I do not agree that Dr. Singh is a weak PM. Neither did I agree that Vajpayee was a weak PM. Both are comparable in their in their zest to do good for the country and both the PMs were hamstrung by the opposition to their plans by the BJP. Yes sir, the biggest opposition to Vajpayee was the BJP rather than the then principal opposition. This brings me to my point of the day.. "Why is the BJP sabotaging its own credibility as a viable alternative".



I am not going to point at the BJP's divisive agenda on cast politics because they have a constituency for such thoughts and I have no value judgement to make of how they work on their ideology. Its the politics played by them in recent years that irk me. I sometimes feel the BJP should wake up and smell the coffee, take up the responsibility of being the principal opposition and not act in the sheer irresponsible way that would dent their credibility forever. No one has forgotten the U-turn the BJP did on the Indo-US nuclear agreement that was initiated by Mr. A. B. Vajpayee during his tenure. They went hammer and tongs to oppose the same deal that they chalked out during their tenure just to bring down the Dr. Manmohan Singh's government. Taking this stance on an issue of major importance for India's infrastructure development speaks lowly about where their loyalties lie. Opposing for the sake of opposition seemed the "mantra" when Mr. L. K. Advani was the leader of opposition. Later, during the 2009 General elections, Advani seemed to "forget" what entire India remembered, as he squarely refused to accept accountability of the decisions Mr. A.B. Vajpayee's goverment took, in which, he was the Deputy Prime Minister. Still the worst mistake of the BJP is the stance they have taken in the present seasons of scams. The opposition is the watch dog on the democracy and is there to make the government answerable to the people of India. We saw, during the past few months, that the Government was getting away scot free. No discussions happened, in fact the Parliament was not even allowed to function.



People wrote articles as to why is the PM silent on the scams. I have a better question, why was the PM not made to answer. Isn't the opposition responsible for not allowing the Government to answer, so far. The Ministers of the Union cabinet are currently going around providing rejoinders to the opposition theories on media platforms. The entire scene has become so murky that the whole crux of the matter seemed to have been forgotten, i.e. "holding the Government accountable for financial irregularities". The privilege of the Parliament to be the only forum to which a Government is answerable was breached. Who is responsible for this mess? The opposition, instead of making the Government answer uncomfortable questions upfront, did not allow Parliament to function. In the meanwhile the Government got its act together and are on course correction. Now during the upcoming budget session, the Government has had time to prepare the answers, thanks to the reprieve given by the opposition and take the battle to the opposition benches. Was this smart politics?? The BJP is losing it. They do this time and again. The Government, in its infinite stupidity, provide the BJP with various opportunities to nail it. Every single time, the BJP, instead of pinning down the Government to its mistakes, takes it as an opportunity to come back to power and end up squandering the chance. Mr. L.K. Advani's statement "There could be a general election before 2014" sums it up. Its time the politically senile generation of BJP, namely Advani, Sushma Swaraj, Arun Jaitley, MM Joshi make way for the likes of Rajiv Pratap Rudy, Narendra Modi, Shivraj Patil etc. so that the BJP stand a genuine chance at least in 2014. I do not know if I am angry or happy for the demise of the BJP as a viable alternative for the present dispensation, but I blame the party senior leaders for sending a formidable party into tailspin. The people of India will not forgive Advani and his likes for taking away the choice of alternative from them.



So long....