Happy-ness

"Every human being is born equal with unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness..." Most repeated line in the sovereign constitutions of nation-states worldwide. While we understand why life and liberty would be an unalienable right, happiness is a tricky thing. Basically, because of its subjective nature and what it means to different people. In India, basic necessity like food, clothing and shelter would mean happiness to a majority, at the same time, there will be others who would want a lot more and would be lesser and lesser content (happy). I was a lot more content when I first began working. I earned enough to enjoy my weekends with friends; good food, movies et al. plus a little saving. As my earnings grew I realised my feeling of content reduced and my cravings for possessions grew exponentially. So, one thing is sure, "money can't buy happiness"; because, as my bank balance increases, my feeling of content reduces by a few percentage points.



I was of the firm opinion that affection could be bought. Over a period of time, the more pricey gift I bought for my girlfriend(s), the more affectionate they would be. The more lavish party I threw, the more my friends would love me. Even my younger cousin(s) loved me because I took them for secret treats. In short, I figured that as long I have the money to buy affection, Ill be happy. The only problem was, I wasn't actually happy. I would see smiles around me and think I am the cause of that smile and be happy. Gradually, the girlfriend(s) were more interested in the lavish gifts than in me. I found my friends' love for me evaporate when there were long intervals in between the parties, even my cousins were longing for the treats than meeting me. I got what I was asking for, my buying power determined the affection I received. I often wondered, I did so many things for the people in my life and yet, there is no one by my side. I was always there for others, yet there is no one for me. What I did not realise was, people don't need your money, they need your time. Your time is the most precious gift you could give anyone and you should be wise in using it because you have limited time. So give your loved ones the most precious gift of all; your invaluable time and then you would realise that the love you receive is exponential of what you give.



The other day, I was standing outside a pub where I had spent quite a lot buying rounds for my mates. I was feeling empty and lost that I was this needy guy who always wanted attention. As I looked around, I saw a small girl walk up to this guy aged around 14-15 years and told him "Bhaiyya, I want to eat paani puri". And that boy immediately took his little sister to a nearby 'thela'. He started to feel inside his pocket and came up with Rs. 10 /- in loose change (enough to buy 1 plate of paani puri). I could see the confusion in his eyes. If he bought paani puri, he did not have any money left for his own dinner or snack or even a bread. After a momentary pause and a look at his sister, he went ahead and bought her paani puri with all he had. As the little girl sat on a small stone-platform and ate paani puri (not realising her brother would have to remain hungry that night), there was a glow of satisfaction and happy-ness on his face. At that moment I almost envied him. I felt an urge to offer him to buy another dish for himself, but I fought my urge. The guy had a chance to show magnanimity and maybe after a long time was able to get something for his sister. I did not want to be the person who spoils this moment of pride for him, which by the looks of it, were hard to come by. I realised two things that day. Firstly, it takes a special person to give up all you have for a person you love and find happy-ness in theirs. Secondly, I was such a small person that I wanted love and affection for merely buying few gifts and treats and was hard pressed to understand why they were not coming by. In reality, love (like respect) cannot be demanded, it has to be commanded by the person by his / her actions; willingness to put others before themselves and more importantly spare some time for the important people in life.



So long...