Silver lining.. in every cloud

I was on one of my regular visits to the "Old age home" to give clothes and medicines to the homeless senior citizens and I happened to meet Hank (at least he insisted I called him that). Hank was in merchant Navy for 25 years and sailed to many destinations around the world. He began by telling me how he lived a satisfying life and had enjoyed the beauty of this world to the hilt. I could see the excitement in his eyes when he was happily recounting his hey-days and it made me wonder how lonely this guy was. Imagine, he was so deprived of human contact that he was almost bursting with excitement about getting to interact with someone, that someone he had never seen before and maybe will never see again and it made me feel sorry for him. I think he saw the pity in my eyes and stopped briefly to say "I hope you not feeling sad to see me in this state, cos I am not". While I stood there mumbling few incoherent words of apology, he said.. "You know I need a friendly ear, I get enough pity and frankly I don't understand why..am I coming off as needy ? Is it wrong to be friendly with an total stranger.." and frankly I had no answer to his questions. As I stood there blankly staring at him, he turned his gaze away as if asking me to leave.


I went and met few other people and on the way back came into Hank's room to say good bye, he sat up and looked directly into my eyes and said.. "Don't be sad for me, I have lived a full life and as I live my last few days, I have no regrets.. I have a nice room; a TV to keep me updated about latest happenings; a nice garden to have a walk..not too shabby a life for an old man in his eighties". Then he smiled and gave me a tight hug and a peck on my cheeks. While I was about to leave, he said "Promise me you will live a life with no regrets and try and spend some time for yourself every day".. as I was nodding smilingly he said "Thank you" with tears in his eyes, "the time you spent with me will be memorable". I left with a strange feeling that day. I had planned to meet Hank the next time I was there because I felt I had seen a friend in him.


3 months later when I visited with next batch of medicines, I heard Hank had passed couple of weeks after I last met him. The matron told me that he was very happy the last few weeks and happy that he had "young friend". She told me that for last 15 years Hank was with them, he had lost his wife and his children were not able to take care of him. He voluntarily moved in the "Old Age home" with his stuff and began to live there. Whenever he was reminded of his wife and family, he would sit and talk for hours about his life as sailor; about places he had seen and life he had lived. It made him feel validated. I happened to meet him on one of those days and instead of listening to him could conjure only handful of pity for the old man. Was there a smaller man than me!!! It also struck me that most people we meet in life "accidentally" touch our life in their own little way. No one expects us to alleviate their pain, but everyone loves a friendly ear. If we could give our time instead of our pity, we will be much better human beings.


I still spend some time for myself every single day and remember Hank when I am at "low points" of my life. If Hank could afford a smile after being "unwanted" by his own family for 15 years, I could smile my little troubles away by remembering my "good times". Its all about finding the silver lining I guess.


PS: This is a true story. I hardly spent 15 minutes with Hank but he deeply impacted my life. Its the quality of time not the quantity that matters I guess.


So long.....