Bad times on good people...

Let me begin with a sweeping statement, "There are no bad people in this world. Its merely bad times on good people". Sounds gibberish right ? .. Think deeper and weigh my following arguments and maybe Ill convince you on this point. I, for one believe in this statement fully and this belief helps me get by many bad experiences in life. You could give it a thought.... maybe it will explain several events in your life.


Recently, I happened to meet an ex-girlfriend with whom things did not end well. Rather, she had crushed my spirit and left me bleeding. Even though the betrayal hadn't hurt me as much, the feeling that lived was "how stupid was I.. to not have seen this coming". I vividly remember my last words to her.. " Ill see you in hell".. I did not actually want bad things to happen to her, but somehow the humiliation of being taken for a ride didn't sit well. If devil had ever walked on the earth, it had to be her... was my deepest belief. Anyhu, I happened to run into her the other day and we exchanged pleasantries.. well not quite.. if looks could kill.. well you can guess the rest. It was not a nice meeting and I was very curt and caustic in my interaction. It felt nice.. felt like venting out a long held frustration. She, on the other hand was quite pleasant and replied to my un-pleasantries.. in a civil manner. That night, I got call from her and we spoke, spoke for few hours and during this, she explained every single thing she had done to me. Took pains to apologise for all the hurt feelings and said.. "You are the most cheerful person I ever met, if I have to see you pissed off.. means I have hurt you too badly.. Am sorry". After I hung up that night, I realised I was no longer angry at her. In fact, I endorsed all the things she did to me and felt I would do the same if I was in her situation. Quite a talk eh!!!


There can be so many instances that I can write about where people who cause us hurt feelings are hated until.. one fine day we realise.. it was the circumstances that were bad.. not the people involved. To make another sweeping statement, even a murderer or a rapist has a certain "just motive" behind the crime; its perverse to us, but to that person its a just cause. I say, if I were in their shoes and faced those circumstances, maybe I would be a criminal.. just like them. I don't have evidence to prove otherwise.


Last Sunday, I heard the pastor read from the bible, a verse, which is appropriate for this discussion. He said "Walk a mile in the shoes of others.. before you judge them". It explained the entire situation with the girlfriend to me. Maybe it will talk to you too. If we understand that people merely act out their circumstances, maybe we could cut some slack for the people in our life. If we realise that the sole aim of a friend who betrayed us.. or a parent who was harsh to us.. or a neighbour who ridiculed us, was not to hurt us; they would have done it anyway... its just we were co-incidentally at the receiving end. Life would seem so much better... the feeling of being a victim would not haunt us and we would live more in harmony with ourselves.

So long....