Confessions of a dangerous mind....

All my life I stood by a code..Love your friends more than they deserve and harm your enemies more than they deserve. I was born this way.. not something I could change about myself but yeah.. that made me a dangerous person.. as if to say.. you better be in my good books or else..

Life seems to be slipping away lately.. and like all prized possessions, I wanna hold on to it.. just a little longer.. but life is just like sand held in your hands. the more you clench the fist..the more it slips away using the gaps.

There are days I wanna kill myself, there are days I wanna kill others.. am I crazy?? I think I am.. but this is me..

I was born cheerful and thats how it seemed Ill be all my life.. why did life take a cruel twist.. now I ll never smile again...

I did things for others.. that they never asked for.. but I did it all the same.. with no expectations.. little did I know expecting me to be treated as a human was a great expectation...

This life is over and it will never be the same again... will it matter.. I dont think so.. not to the world.. not even to the person who meant the world to me...

Some emotions are better bottled up.. some emotions are better let go.. I have one... its gonna live with me forever... does this mean I stop living.. nah.. life is beautiful...

So long...

The irony of my life....

10-September-2010



Today is the last day of my life.. how do I know; cos I plan to end it today. I always felt life was not fair to me; I got a raw deal and frankly I am fed up. I will put an end to this fooling around and get some peace of mind at last. I will never have to wonder why bad things happen to good people; never have to wonder why life plays a trick where in it gives me a taste of goodness and then ruthlessly takes it all away. Life teaches us all a lesson... maybe my lesson was "life is ruthless.. end it".. and so I decided that this would be my last day.



I woke up in the morning and realized that this would be special.. no other days in calendar meant more than this day.. I wanted to enjoy all things in life before I say my byes tonight. I quickly freshened up because I didn't want to lose any minute of my last day. All throughout there was a realization in my mind that whatever I am doing was the last time in my life.I rushed to work. I told my boss that I wanted to leave early as I am planning to go on a long vacation. I took up all the work at my desk and cleared it. I was working efficiently and quick. I said my byes to my colleagues before I left...little did they know they will never see me again.. ever !!!



I got out at 2 pm There were so many things to do, one last time. I went and bought myself an expensive perfume and some nice jeans. Hell I wanted to look and smell good when they found my body. I was secretly laughing at the credit card company as I was never planning on clearing the bill ;). I went to Subway and ordered my favorite meat-ball sub.….yummm!! This is one thing I would miss. I ate my lunch leisurely and left. Damn. it was 5 pm already, just 7 hours to go and lots to do.. I reached home and quickly prepared the note. I also left all my belongings to a certain charity and some clothes to be sent to my parents as memories.




When I was done, I realized I always wanted to go to a pub and have a drink, omething I resisted all my life. I drove to the nearby pub and ordered one large drink. As I sat there sipping my drink slowly, my entire life flashed in front of my eyes. People whom I loved, people who loved me, parents, relatives, friends all the good times.. I was going to miss all of this, but it was time I left this world. It was decided. Then her face flashed in front of my eyes. I loved those eyes the most, I remember telling her that they give me zest to live.... it was ironic that those eyes will be the last thing that will flash in my mind... I slowly picked myself and walked to the parking lot. It was 9 pm. I still had to call my mom one last time, tell her how much I loved her and what she means to me. She would not forgive me but lately I was more of a liability to her than an asset. I am sorry mom I have to go. After an hour long chat with her, I felt at ease. I felt I said all things I had to tell her. I talked to my dad too.



As I drove out of the parking lot, I hit a kid. He was there all evening wiping car windows and was having shut-eye. I quickly picked him up and drove to a nearby hospital. While seated beside me, he told me that he was born to a drug addict mother. His mom was 16 when she had him and he had never seen his father. From a very young age he learnt to live by himself and take care of his mom for whom he never existed. I asked him how it feels to love and take care of a person who doesn't even acknowledge his presence, and he was quick to retort." She doesn't remember I am her son, but I do. Isn’t that enough ?". I was shaken to the core. Here I was complaining about life being harsh to me and this kid, who had never seen what love was in his entire life, was out all night earning to support himself and taking care of his mother.



I was having second thoughts on ending my life, all of sudden this kid had given me some perspective. Life was always worth living. No matter in what situation you were. I reached my apartment at 11:45 pm and quickly tore my suicide note into shreds and flushed it down the drain. I thanked God for making me realize the value of life and how I would cherish the rest of my days. Then I drank some water and as I lay in bed planning to start afresh the next day..... I realized I was planning to kill myself consuming cyanide pills and that I had mixed it with the glass of water on my bedside.. As the last few breaths left my body, I realized that life was ironic... I wanted to kill myself for so long and death did not come to me... it gave me a taste of life and then as I was enjoying it... it ruthlessly snatched it from me.... again !!!


So long...

Life is not the moments we breathe...

I vividly remember having this discussion with a certain special someone.. I was getting to know her then and asked her a question, how many days in your life do you remember very clearly and are a part of your happy place.. a place you would want to go back when you are down and rejuvenate.. She thought for a long time and said about 1 year worth. I remember telling her that in a life worth well over 25 years.. you have just 1 year worth memories and rest are just blank spaces.... too bad.. and den, I realised I wasn't any better, at 26 (soon to be 27) I had about 90 memorable days.. really special days.. and I wondered did I live the life I wanted.. I was a guy who lived life king size and if today happened to be my last day..I would have only 90days to thank for... It somehow gave me jolt.. a wake up call if I may say..

The next 6 months were memorable.. in more ways than one. As I sit here I recollect every single moment of the time I have spent in last 6 months.. maybe good times, may be bad but memorable and I remember every single detail. It was then I realised one thing.. someone was making these special for me.. It was then I realised that even if things end now.. you know life-wise.. I would thank the last 6 months than the previous 90 days I remembered. I had collected enough memories to last a life.. ( based on fact that I lasted 27 years on 90 memorable days )

Finally I had realised.. Life is not the moments we breathe.. its the moments that take our breath away :)

So long...

No matter what you are.. I'd still miss you..

Hello guys.. am back again.. this post is dedicated to all the hopeless romantics such as myself about a movie I saw recently.. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

First things first, kudos to the script writer and the director / editor for an amazing well written movie. Moving on.. spoiler alert..I am giving out the detail of entire movie; however I insist it would not spoil your experience when you watch it.

The theme of the movie is very simple.. some relationships are never meant to be.. looking back.. but no matter how it ends.. you are always glad you were a part of it and would repeat it because the reason you both were attracted to each other still stands. The movie begin with Jim Carrey suddenly taking a detour from way to work to visit Montauk, NY. This event is inexplicable and he does it with no prior plans. When in Montauk, he meets Kate Winslet and they get along like a house on fire. Jim is reserved and man of few words while Kate is a babbler.. that very same evening they go for an overnight date to Charles river (frozen during winter) and spend the night lying on the frozen river and talking. It amazes the audience as to how they have the chemistry going on with so much diversity in their thoughts and behaviours.

The movie goes to a flashback... Jim is all in tears and talking to his sister and brother in law that Kate is not picking his calls or even recognising him.. turns out she underwent a brain procedure that made her forget all thoughts and events related to Jim. Jim is devastated and simply cannot come to terms with the loss of Kate's presence in his life and decides to undergo the procedure himself. The following 90 minutes of the movie is Jim going through each and every thought involving Kate and himself in reverse chronology and it appears to the audience that someone is erasing his memories about her. It so happens that after more than half of the memories are erased, Jim realises that there was a deeper reason why he was in love with Kate and wiping her memories will not help him.. he wanted to maintain atleast one memory so that he can remember her all his life.. but its too late.. things have gone beyond his control. He tries hard to subvert the machine, but it turns out that its gone well beyond his control. He wakes up the next day having absolute no memory of Kate, except a message in his subconscious that she wanted to meet him in Montauk. That brings us to the beginning of the movie..

They return from their overnight date and find 2 cassettes bearing their name and upon hearing them, they find all about hating each other and having undergone the painful procedure. While they discuss in the hallway that if they continue dating this is gonna happen again, the movie ends with Jim saying to Kate that even if the relationship is doomed to fail, he would still wanna try. The movie shows 2 people who should not have been together in the first place for they were so different from each other.. so wide was that chasm that it made one of them to take an extreme step of going for a brain procedure. When all that was done, they still could not forget why they were attracted to each other and when situation gave them another chance to meet, they rebuild on the same chemistry.

There are several things that you would not like about your partners, but you would be surprised to know that you would miss them like hell for those same things you hated them for... when they are gone. Accept the shortcomings in your relationships and still work on building it with what you have, for there is nothing like a perfect relationship :)

So long....

Why me... again...

Have you noticed how we keep falling into the same patterns repeatedly, especially in relationships?

It took some time but finally she realised there was more than coincidence to blame for the way she kept getting let down by people she trusted the most. She would promote their interests, help instill confidence. And then the same person would turn around and stab her in the back!
This happened not once, not twice, but several times till she started losing confidence and became distrustful of all around, even close friends. It started way back in nursery class, when she would leave her prized pencil box with best friend Reema whenever she visited the washroom. “And still mom, my erasers and pencils get stolen,” she would complain.
Till one day Reema was caught stealing someone else’s stationery! And, Sanjukta realised she had been entrusting her property to the class thief! In fact, it took years of similar experiences before she realised something was seriously wrong! She invariably ended up trusting the wrong person!

It is then that she started questioning why this was happening to her repeatedly. Why me? Why does this happen to me again and again? Sounds familiar? Think about this; all of us go through recurring patterns with something or the other, usually someone or the other. Stray incidents manifest themselves as patterns once we recognise their frequency.

A psychiatrist friend talks of a woman who after an abusive marriage, walked into another wedlock with a guy who not just had an extra-marital affair, but is also mentally abusive. This particular lady comes from a privileged background and is an intelligent and well-sorted person. The psychiatrist wonders how such a bright and evolved woman could have chosen wrong both times for herself!

Such a recurring pattern may be negative, but could also be positive, points out friend and astrologer Sunita Chabra. However, we are unlikely to note the positive incidents; they get taken for granted. We are convinced that we are essentially good people and so don’t question the good things that come our way. It's only when things start going wrong that we start watching out for and questioning patterns! It’s then that we start blaming the world around for the chaos we find ourselves in.

Dr Brian Weiss, renowned American psychiatrist and past life therapist, explains that we get into recurring patterns because there are lessons to be learnt from past lives that we haven’t imbibed and till such time that we do so, we will find ourselves falling into the same trap again and again. Sunita agrees. However she says though we could blame Destiny for some of these recurrences, some could be due to flaws in our own personality too.

Dr Deepak Raheja, psychiatrist and psychotherapist, couldn’t agree more. “A pattern of abuse is like a self-fulfilling prophesy,,” he says. “It’s a defence mechanism called projective identification where we pull and attract through behaviour or our body vibrations situations or people who inflict similar kind of pain or act in a manner that helps the environment go wrong. And then we say the world is too chaotic for us! The paranoid instinct takes over and the picture that emerges is a tarnished, paranoid image.”

In order to break such destructive patterns, the first step is awareness. First, an understanding and an acceptance that one is a victim of such a recurrent destructive pattern, then an awareness as Dr Raheja points out, that the problem is within, not outside us. “We have to understand that the chaos we visualise the world to be, is actually a reflection of the chaos within us. We are attracting those people and situations towards us.”

So, a certain amount of soul searching is important. Even if we cannot understand why we are on this self-destructive trajectory, just an awareness that we are on it, is enough to set us on the path of healing. In fact, Dr Raheja goes a step further and says that these negative occurrences or people are not really destructive, but friendly because they help make us aware of the problem within. “Emotions that inflict pain help us develop cognitive skills that take us to the next level.”

Once we become aware, we can evolve to a higher plane of consciousness where we take ownership for our own actions and it’s from here that the change begins. Dr Raheja quotes Buddhism, which teaches you to pray for those that harm you most because they do so in order to help you realise problems within.

And, it’s when you start thinking thus that your cosmic relationship with that particular person starts changing and there is a break in negative patterns. And so, you stay away from the people or situations, who though still around, are not getting dragged into nor dragging you into recurrent patterns

So long...

** This blog was written by Vinita Dwara Nangia, I liked the thought line and published the same here **

Pyaar impossible.. its possible hain na ??

Recently I heard a puzzling statement from someone, " love does not mean ending up married to each other, there is a more profound meaning to it and it goes much beyond proximity". I wondered why would anyone fall in love with another human being and not want to end up together. She told me a story to prove her point and I hope I narrate the story to the desired effect as it was meant by her. As a precursor, I am posting this out of my memory and if I end up not depicting this rightly I apologise to the protagonists, I meant to highlight the point stated above using your story.



Sam (Sameer) was like the guy next door, he was quiet in his mannerism and a very upright character. He was like this shy character that you donut tend to pick out among more flamboyant creatures who tread the college turf. There was no air of superiority about him or was there any high handedness in his behaviour. He was simple unassuming college guy who had a look of responsible and mature man and not typical college boy charms. Vibha was the college sweetheart, she had the oomph and she was very aware of it. In short she was the type of gal you cant help but notice on a college campus. Ever lively and full of life. This story is about them, how they met, fell in love and lived happily ever after.



Sam was never bitten by the love bug, ever in his life and had not known what it was to love another person or be loved by another person. All his notions about this emotion was from the movies and he never thought that beyond all the glamour there was such a thing called LOVE. Vibha was very familiar with this emotion as she had seen from her teenage years guys pursuing and declaring their love for her. Feeling the emotion of being loved and wanted was pretty routine and needles to say she had a few attempts at relationships.



Any hu, moving on... for the first time in his life, Sam felt a strange tug in his heart towards this chic named Vibha from the same group. A tug he couldn't explain and couldn't describe as he didn't have anything to compare it to. All he knew was, that she meant a lot to him and given a choice he would choose her happiness over his. He always remembered the day they were introduced by a common friend and was always grateful to that person for getting him introduced to such an amazing girl. Sam and Vibha's friendship clicked and they spent a lot of time together and at times when they were not together, they were hooked on to the phone chatting with each other. In short the beginning of romance was pretty much on expected lines, however, the romance for Sam was mere affection for Vibha. It was yet another affectionate friend to her as this was familiar territory; Sam was hugely smitten and this novel rush of blood was exciting and he yearned her company more and more.



Finally the day arrived when he said, he confessed his true feelings for her and she behaved much on expected lines like any female would do. Basically telling him, try harder dude, I am not feeling the emotions yet !! Internally, she knew he was more than a friend, but she wanted the feeling to get stronger by denying it to herself. Finally the day arrived when she agreed to be in a committed relationship with him. Sam was overjoyed. He could finally see the writing on the wall; MBA degree; a well paid job; Vibha as his partner ;life time of happiness. That's the power of first love, you tend to build too many castles in first few days and always assume relationship is all about the good times.



Life taught him the hardships of maintaining a relationship pretty soon. The major fault or double fault a guy commits is wishing away the girl's past life; that includes all her friends, her ex boyfriends basically the entirety of her life without him. This hits hard in first few days and the smart ones try to get involved and create a rapport with the girls' life outside his bubble and the dumb ones try to fight away. Sam was different, even though he knew he was on par with her pals, he never complained; he kept showering her with presents et al. trying to make her feel special all the time. Vibha, who was so used to being "apple of the eye"; couldn't see his special efforts as he meant them and it many times he ended up irritating her by coming off as a guy who marks his territory. The heartache and tiffs continued. It was simple issue of the girl not letting her new relationship come in the way of her friends and the guy wanting to be around her all the time. Both were right in their respective places, all they needed was a perspective about the other.





Sam was heartbroken many times and Vibha let him bleed, and when Vibha felt suffocated, Sam didn't back off; but even after the offs and ons the relationship grew stronger as the days passed and the day arrived when the topic of commitment was discussed. Sam was pretty sure about Vibha and so was she about him and both wanted to be married to each other. Sam not being good with words, was not able to explain to Vibha about his family and their expectations about the couple and the message that went across to her was that, this relationship can be built only at the cost of compromising a lifestyle, a career and everything she loved about life. Vibha was not ready to let go of entire identity just for the sake of of this relationship and Sam was not able to instill that confidence in her that all things could be worked out. After a harrowing experience of friction, the couple decided to part ways amicably. Their friends tried to make them understand that they were doing a mistake and they should in fact be together, but somehow no one saw reason and the relationship ended. It just wasn't meant to be.




College was over and friends drifted apart and went on their separate journeys of life. Sam and Vibha stayed in touch but was just superficial. Vibha met this guy at work and started dating him and soon forgot all about past and moved on. A year on, Vibha received a call from Sam. He was getting engaged to be married soon to this girl of parents choice and he wanted to meet Vibha and talk to her. They met; they talked and soon it was evident to them that their love for each other had not died, they had assumed that living apart and being involved with other people would give them the necessary closure, but it didn't. Vibha felt a strange sense of loss that Sam would be married to another person and that was kinda last nail in the coffin and there was no hope. They talked and talked of how they could have acted better and saved a wonderful relationship but how it was too late for them and nothing could be done.





That day, before they left, they decided that they will keep that special place in their heart for each other, maintain contact provided their spouses do not mind and nurture this as a friendship that could have been so much more. Vibha never forgave Sam for not trying hard enough to convince her and Sam always thought Vibha could have been a little more mature. But in the end it was all about "would have beens" and that's what brought an unnatural end to this beautiful relationship. Some wise person recently told me, 9 out of 10 relationships don't work out or end in a divorce. The one that sticks is because there is one person in the relationship who is fighting hard to keep the relationship alive. There are no perfect relationships and most relationships grind you down. The trick lies in wanting to be there and fight it even when things suck....



So long....

The Art of Dying...

Death is the solemn truth of our lives and yet somehow we ignore or choose to ignore it. People bat for life vs. death all the time and yet we all know at the end it is always death that turn up trumps. All of us plan our lives and yet we somehow choose to ignore the basic truth about us; we never plan our death. Partly because it is not in our control how our life ends, but so is the course of our life; we never know how our life will turn out to be and yet we plan every single detail about it. The truth is, we are afraid to accept death as the final fate, it is as a writer put it, "We see death in various ways every single day and yet those who live, plan to live on forever". Maybe it is the belief that "I will not die" that helps us achieve great things, but we need to plan our death as we plan our life, because each one of us has a right to die honorably as we live honorably.





Adolf Hitler was a great man in many ways, a mass leader and a born ruler. People who met him swore by his charisma and his ability to form mass opinions. He had the ability to plan with very fine detail about his attacks on enemy territory and how to hold and rule it. He had a military which lived and died on his command. Basically, he held absolute power in Germany and challenged the might of the Soviet Union and United States of America and was taking control over most of Europe. Even with such absolute power, he never spent enough time to think about his death. He spent way too much time planning his life and not enough planning his death. When it finally came, he was not ready for it. We don’t remember him much for the death he met on the way out of this world, but I do wish his death was more honorable and not a tame suicide in his personal chambers. Not a fitting end for a grand life he lived. Maybe he should have planned it better.



I find it ironic that M.K. (Mahatma) Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. both of whom spent their life preaching and following non-violence and achieving major victories without armed struggle met violent deaths. It makes me feel when death is cruel to such great souls, how can a man like me, do much about it. Then again, like I said, even though I might not control the events that lead to my death, I might certainly hope that I get a death of my choice. Given a choice, I must always have an honorable way to exit rather than being forced out due to unforeseen circumstances, much like a player who chooses to retire, when on a high.



Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev Thapar and Hari Shivram Rajguru made such a choice 79 years ago. They are remembered even to this day for the choice they made and their death is celebrated as "Shaheed Divas" (Martyers Day) in India. They had a goal in life; they had planned to liberate India from the British Empire. Much like all of us, they had planned their life nicely, only difference being, they even planned their death and used it as an instrument to further the goal of their life. They chose to plan their death in such a way that it stirs passion of nationalism in the minds of youth and goal of Independence becomes a national rage. They died well before their time (age wise) but they chose an honorable and grand exit that made the life they lived seem more grand. Durga bhabi (wife of Bhagwati Charan Vohra) had such an option which she was not allowed to take. She was supposed to join Bhagat Singh, Sukhdev and Rajguru when they were planning the murder of Scott. Her pleas were killed by her husband stating she had family responsibilities and should not take up the risk of such an act even though she was active member of Hindustan Republican Association (HRA). She gave in and the rest is history. A few years later, she contracted a life threatening flu and was bed ridden. During the last few days of her life, she called her husband to her side and told him that she would never forgive him for not allowing her an honorable death. She told him that very few people are given a choice of planning their death and she could have had a honorable way of dying for her country's independence, instead of the suffering the flue and meet a tame end. That anguish was genuine and makes you think, why do we always hold on to life so dearly that we end up having a doctor and a hospital bed for company when death arrives, when we could have chosen to die in a more honorable fashion for a cause we believed in truly. May be, as I said earlier, we don’t plan about death seriously.



I, for one, have a goal. I meet many people and with every person who comes into my life, I ask myself, "If I die tomorrow, how will I be remembered by this person?" and I sure hope that the day I am no longer around and they think back about me, there must be a smile on their lips and a tear in their eye. Does this mean, I am ready to die... maybe; or maybe, I don’t see death as an end to the life I am living. The "one goal" however, keeps me, from hurting people I come across and that sure are a good thing to do. Does it work? Well..... Not always, I am human and cannot have a perfect record. I will try using this post to issue a heartfelt apology to those whom I have advertently or inadvertently hurt in my life, and tell them that I didn’t mean to hurt them. Maybe this will take me closer to my goal and when my day comes, I will be proud of having a near perfect life.


PS: Some excerpts taken from a hindi story I read, "Marna: Ek kala, ek chance" meaning, "Death: An art, a matter of chance"

Chavunism of the worst kind

We keep harping on the fact that we are ushering in new thoughts in this new century and India is planning on being a global power by 2020. We keep making politically correct statements on empowerment of the weak and down trodden and empowerment of the neglected sections of society. Den outta nowhere we begin harping about women's reservation bill in our legislatures and how we need to make women equal to men and give them equal opportunities; give them the right to fight for their country and die for it.. etc etc.. the list is a long one. It almost seems that women have become a underprivileged section of society and this assumption does not sit right with me.

I do not understand why does logic not prevail and why do we need legislation to stamp the rights of women on resources that comes naturally to men. Its like even the fundamental rights like right to live, right to freedom of speech and most recently right to education comes naturally to men and in case of women it needs a man to ratify whether they get these rights or not. Why do more than 70% of women population not look "free" in an otherwise "free India". Why do people keep writing about these issues and no one wants to solve them. Well the answer is simple, WE ARE CHAUVINISTIC. Its not like you guys are and I am not.. its like we all are.. but the intensity is different. We grudge the rights of half of the worlds population.

Most of us are unknowingly doing this, some of us are using culture as a basis and rest of us are doing it because they just don't want women on equal footing as them. Women themselves have accepted this and have moulded themselves to fit into these pigeon holes. In our society where arranged marriage is a common practice, we see this quite evidently when we look up on matrimonial sites. Men with questionable backgrounds, unimpressive jobs and sloppy personalities are looking for "fair", "homely" and "cultured" women for marriage. The sad part is, the women are made to feel obligated that they are chosen by a man for marriage even though he does not match her on any level. This systematic brain washing continues even after and at some point every woman starts believing that she needs a man to support her all through her life.

Women who are independent and have a view on life are seen as a threat to man's world and when faced with this threat all men resort to one weapon i .e. questioning her morality and integrity. Most women care about their reputation and it works favourably for people to edge her out or kill her spirit. At some stage all of us have used this method to belittle a woman's achievement not stopping to think why is a woman's achievement linked to her morality and why are men not expected to have any morals in life. To add insult to injury, we supposedly worship women in India in various forms and treat her as a holy cow. How about giving her due respect and not raising her to a pedestal where you keep highlighting each and every human flaw she has.

Women rights activists must stop taking up cudgels with western media for corrupting the minds of our women and showing them in bad light, but in turn try and fight chauvinism in all its kinds and not selectively ignore some things as part of our culture because no culture teaches us to bulldoze half the population with gender specific rules. Its made for one and only one purpose... superiority of man over woman.


So long..

Gals, play by the rules...

When you are dining with the devil, make sure you have a long spoon. This idiom always fascinated me with its literal meaning and intended one. It basically meant that when you know you are in unfamiliar environment, make sure you are well covered for the risks involved. This is one lesson I would love my daughter to learn from me.

Dating rules are fascinating because there are no fixed rules, they are merely a set of guidelines to be followed if you don't have to cut a sorry face for yourself. No one better to teach these rules than your father and never listen to the inputs on these by your mother. I wish every father took some time out for his adolescent daughter and taught her these basic rules which would help her in her social life perpectually.

Date rapes are on the rise and if you study the pattern, in most cases, the victims are teenage girls and most of the agressors are boy-friends and his cronies. Let us forget about incest angle for a moment, because there is a bigger moral evil to be addressed in those cases. Date rapes can be avoided 100% of the times; all you have to do is look out for the classic signs and avoid walking into the traps. The problem is, that most dads dote their daughters so much that they dont accept that she is ready to date and be involved with a guy. It seems to them that their daughters are too small to do these things and in many cases, date rapes are a rude awakeing to such gullible fathers. Satuatory warning: Mothers cannot be good teachers in these cases because simply they cannot fathom the innovative brains of boys. They are more suited to take their loving sons to task and teaching them to respect women.

The problem arises with boys being starved for female affection and ends up with the rape of an unsuspecting girl; however the guilt of it charrs both of them forever. Let me state a few rules for you so that you can enjoy your dates and be safe at the same time. Avoiding a social life is not the solution and grounding yourself in your prime age is a total no-no. Enabling you to face the world is what we are aiming for.

Rule #1: Date a guy that you want to go out with, not the guy who asked you and you dont wanna let down. Believe me, in 90% of cases guys expect a NO. So its okay if they hear it from you.

Rule #2: A date is always about you, and keep it about you. Remember, just because he buys you dinner; you dont owe him anything. Your company is totally worth it, dats why he asked you in the first place.

Rule #3: Avoid alcohol at all times while on a date, it inhibits your rationale and getting a girl drunk is the easiest way for a guy. Dats you walking into a big trap.

Rule #4: Never trust a guy. Period. You may know him for years but always look out for classic signs of betrayal. Dont let it hit you hard by being totally trusting. Guys use anything as a fair game, so be aware of the "male rules".

Rule #5:At all times it is your responsibility to look out for your female friends and dont compete over guys. There are fewer women than men in this world, so all of you are assured of a mate : )

Rule #6: Never hangout with a boys gang where you are the lone female. Its okay to lookout for your safely and put in a polite but firm NO.

Rule #7: While on a date, you have to always look for yourself and do what pleases you at all times, trust me the guy is always looking out for himself. Its okay to be "the bitch" on a date rather than hear others call you his.

Rule #8: If a guy is too good to be true, there are 100% chances that he is bullshitting you. Never trust his words.

These are few general rules, and are meant to keep you safe. Always be on the lookout but dont be paranoid. I am not an expert at dating but I see it as a sport and as in all sports there are few rules to be followed to make it a enjoyable experience.

So long...

The Tiger bites a Lion..

Hello people... Bachi Karkaria had me in splits with this blog... I took the liberty to post it here for you guys and have transalted some bambaiyya language into Englist for your benefit.. Enzoy.. Hope she doesnt mind ;)

Bichare Balasaheb. How it is his fault? What he can he do if the name of the state is Maharashtra. Means, it is the maha- rashtra, no? Means, it has to be greater than the rashtra, no. Then why all the people are khali-pili ( unnecessarily) bom marta (shouting) over his attack on Tendulkar?

If you are called Maharashtra year in and year out, then the delusion of grandeur must get embedded in your DNA as surely as e coli in Mumbai's drinking water. It means you are above not just all other states, but above the Indian state itself. So naturally, Thackeray senior got his saffron silk dhoti in a twist over Sachin-baba's skewed notion of nationalism.

In his version of Tebbit's 'cricket loyalty test', Tendulkar put being Indian over being Maharashtrian, which the Supremo considers nothing short of high treason. So, he was perfectly entitled to launch a maha yuddh over it. Maharashtra must score over Mahabharat, no? What else could Krishna have done than give an 'affectionate warning' to the one-time Arjuna awardee?

Nakkich (Surely), Balasaheb is right. Of course, all cricketing glory is only about our Maharashtra. So where does India even enter the picture? Wadekar, Gavaskar, Vengsarkar, Tendulkar - the game is entirely our 'kar'mabhoomi.

Rubbing lasan chatni (Garlic pickle) into the chauvinistic wound, Sachin also foolishly stated that 'Mumbai belongs to the whole country'. So, he ekdum and fully-ch deserved the threat that Thackeray bowled at him in Saamna. Thank Chhatrapati Maharaj, that the misguided fellow at least had the sense not to say 'Bombay'. Then his batata vada (hey days) days would surely be numbered.

Nakkich, Balasaheb is right. Of course, Tendulkar must keep off the political pitch. But politicians must not keep off the cricket pitch. They must keep digging it up like the Shiv Sena men did at Ferozesha Kotla during the 1999 India- Pakistan test series and again in Agra in 2003, just before the Veterans Match with you-know-who.

Nakkich, Balasaheb is right. Of course, he had to warn Tendulkar 'not to lose on the political pitch what he has earned on the cricket pitch'. Who says Thackeray senior is already in danger of losing on this cricket pitch what he had earned on the political pitch? Or whatever is left of his legacy after his son has turned it into a gilli-danda game, and his nephew has run away with the danda. At one time, Indian cricket too had its Tiger, but Pataudi's pampered cub is not interested in being out for a duck; he prefers to go out with a Size Zero instead. No such self-indulgence for the heirs to the Sena lair.They must valiantly continue the mission of hacking down the rich biodiversity of the Mumbai forest and turn it into a monoculture which saps the soil and the sons thereof.

Well, like mortals, tigers too must age. Often they turn into man-eaters since they are too weak to take on prey worthy of their earlier prowess. But this time, our Tiger hasn't attacked a man, but a lionized boy. So wagh-saheb has bitten off more than he can now chew. It hasn't helped that he's still licking his wounds from the last election, where he was thrown to the wolves.
The latest attack is considered a slip even in the gulleys where the Supremo is still venerated. The Marathi manoos proudly consider Sachin to be one of their own, and the boy from Shivaji Park has always returned the compliment with grace and modesty. He is a steeped-in-the-varan local. So, sorry Balasaheb, to borrow from another game, this time you have scored an 'own goal'. Why, if aapla Tendlya was the type to swear oaths , you could safely bet that he'd do so in Marathi.

So long...